Moving past feeling directionless

What do you do when you feel directionless?

As someone who is super driven and motivated when I get into these funks, they hit me hard. And it’s not that I don’t know what I am doing, its just a lull where I am reevaluating the end goal. But it is only natural to take a step back and probe what I originally thought I wanted.

It is this period of inner interrogation that leaves me feeling like I am ok for now, but what’s next for me.

I am learning to recognize the cycle and be ok with the inner introspection, no matter how uncomfortable. The periods where I am driving forward, I am so laser-focused on my goals that I almost lose sight of the bigger picture. These introspection phases and spinning my wheels, reevaluating my life are helpful and motivate me to work harder and drive after my goals.

But when you are in a lull or a period or stagnation what do you do to get a movin again?

  • Sit with it. Reflect on the now.
    • Ask yourself: are you happy? Do you like where you are? Are you healthy? What is not being fulfilled?
  • Reflect on the past
    • Look at your habits and decisions. How have they gotten you here? Note where the holes in the boat are.
  • Look ahead
    • Keep the habits that serve you. Work on the habits that don’t. you create your life through the decisions you make. You don’t like it? Make better choices. We all have to work within the constraints of the cards we’ve been dealt.
    • Look at what you want your life to look like. Do your habits make this realistic?
    • If things aren’t where you want them to be, what needs to change?
    • What is your next step?
  • Hit the cards.
    • Look to your oracle cards or the tarot. Ask the universe/angels/guides what juicy knowledge your soul needs in this moment.
  • Flow through.
    • Hit the mat and physically work and breath out your beef.

What do you do when youre feeling stuck?

Gratitude during the Holidays

The Holidays are a chaotic and very consumerist time, but they really have gratitude at its core. This time of year starts with Thanksgiving which is, in and of itself, a time to give thanks, to continuously celebrate the year you have had with your loved ones as December approaches with Christmas and Haunnakah. It is so easy to lose sight of the love and thanks that should surround this time with all the ads and promotions out to buy buy buy. The consumerism can be hard to resist and there is such pressure around it in social groups.

But really this time is a space to spend time with people you love, eacting good food. A time to appreciate what you have before the buy buy buy want want want hits. I encourage you to reflect on the peace and gratidtue that is at the heart of this season and bring this with you to 2019!

Girl and dog

Here are some ideas to inspire that abundance mindset and show your graditude.

  • Graditude journal
    • Pick two things a day that really inspired you. You don’t need to go over board or force it. It shouldn’t be a chore. You want to put these good vibes out there.
  • Go out of your way to do something nice for someone.
    • Whether its a random act of kindness or you shovel your neighbors porch or you help a friend in need. Try something you haven’t sone before to help someone.
  • Volunteer
    • Help the homeless or go play with the shelter animals. We have it conditioned in to us that we need to be around those we love during this time, so why not help with the spirit of comaraderie with those down on their luck or maybe don’t have loved ones to spend it with. Love and light can go a long way.
  • Be kind to yourself.
    • Show yourself some of the love. What skills do you have that you are thankful for? What about life lessons or experiences?

What are you thankful for during this time of year?

The Anxiety Beast can become Your Friend

Small child, school photo

Anxiety and I have known each other for at least 20 years, so I have invariably learned to manage it. For a long time, the beast went unnoticed/undiagnosed and my coping mechanisms were just considered oddities. It is only now with my familiarity with my anxiety can I look back and see that those oddities were indeed my anxiety manifesting.

As I have gotten older, my anxiety has also grown and transformed. With more and more life responsibilities as an adult, the pressure the sheer number and magnitude of things I have to be anxious about have grown, making it seem worse because I am confronted with it more regularly.

Small child, school photo
A small Rebecca, pre-anxiety

Anxiety’s effect on Relationships

There are good times and there are bad times on this nervous path. For example, when I travel my soul is free, I don’t even take my Xanax with me when I go because I know I won’t need it. When anxiety seeps into my relationships, it is exhausting and contentious. Especially as the person gets closer to me and we have to adapt to my coping mechanisms. It is hard for them because when it’s not in your own head, it is hard to understand the irrationality.

On my end, it can be hard to spend time with loved ones because I feel like I am burdening them with my looney toons or simply that I am more difficult than a “normal” person.

Anxiety support mechanism
The poor soul who tries to understand where I am coming from when I go down an anxiety rabbit hole. 

Know thyself- Dealing with Anxiety

I’ve taken a variety of approaches to deal with my anxiety, from pretending it doesn’t exist, to medicine, to just acknowledging it and letting it rock. Right now I’m in the latter. I am happier than I’ve been with my other approaches because I don’t beat myself up thinking I need to fix something that is broken.

It is allowing me to get to know it better by understanding my triggers, my feelings, and my thoughts that surround moments of panic, my racing thoughts at night, and all the other anxious thing my body likes to do. I find this approach beneficial because having had anxiety for 8/10th of my life, I don’t think it’s going anywhere. Anxiety has also informed so much of my life and decisions it is as much a part of me as my blue eyes. And you guessed it! I have worked very hard every single day to be cool with this part of myself!

There is not a miracle nor a cure, but I am happy trying to accept this part of myself. I am more in touch with my body and work hard to live a life that allows me to manage the beast on my back and turn it into a friend. My lifestyle has adapted around my management techniques and now that I have turned these practices into habits, it’s easier. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my proclivities, much to the dismay of those that have to interact with me on a regular basis and I can be knowingly irrational, but I am learning to express what I am feeling and thinking.

Some of the biggest changes I have made in my life to manage the beast:

  • I’m more likely to watch what I eat and drink because of the effect it may have on my greater system.
  • Live at a slower speed and don’t do as much so I don’t stress myself out.
  • Take time every day to do at least 15 minutes of yoga to keep my body happy with some gentle movement and space to breathe.
  • Make sleep a priority. I get grumpy and can’t handle life as well when I am tired so I make sure I get my sleep so I can keep my cool.
  • Try to get to know my anxiety through my soul’s ligh. What it like? What it doesn’t? When it comes up? What helps keep it away? If certain people cause me to freak out, etc.
  • Once I have a working idea of what makes it tick, I worked to remove the cause and reduce my triggers. It took a hot second but I am healthy, happy, and feeling better.

Soul Alchemy

What’s this Soul Alchemy?

Guys! I am so excited to be offering up some Soul Alchemy! It is my newest practice in 9th House Light, but it is definitely my favorite! The sessions are SO rewarding. For me and the client! You may have seen me reppin’ my Soul Alchemy offering on social media and been like that’s cool, but what the what?

So, I wanted to bring some context to those who are curious.

Light in Hands

So what is it, first off?

Soul Alchemy is essentially coaching meets spirituial healing, I use modalities like reiki, meditation, cord cutting, affirmations, and angelic healing to make this possible. The goal of the session is to clear out the negative energetic cords that are holding you back in life. This is done through rituals and intention setting, followed with a cord cutting and angelic healing ceremony. It can be done one off, but because cords can be tricky, multiple sessions are ideal so you can work through your shit so to speak.

Where did it come from?

Angelic healing has taught me so much about my intuition and spiritual gifts and has helped me heal at a deep level. It’s a daily practice for me so I wanted to make this amazing healing art accessible to others. I think everyone can benefit from releasing cords and angelic healing because of the strong impact but packaged as a guided session, it is convenient.

I have designed the sessions to hold space for the clien, so they can do their deep inner work and guide them through the process without having to learn new skills or spend a lot of time until they find out they don’t have a strong conenction to source, which everyone does but its just a matter of how you connect wit it or for those who don’t want to learn to connect to source.

Can we talk about flakeyness?: A plea for authenticity

Great! I’ll be honest, I hate it. It so goes against my genuine and probably sometimes naïve and socially awkward ways. I am sick of the excuses and ghosting as an out. If you don’t feel aligned or just don’t actually care, you need not feel obligated to come out or engage, it will not hurt my feelings. Believe it or not, this kind of honesty and deep authenticity elicits more respect and understanding from most than you may know. We get so caught up in needing to be thought of as nice, but maybe being nice is just being honest with yourself and those you interact with.

Changing the Dialogue

Why don’t we set a new standard? One that actually perpetuates authenticity, rather than the appearance of being nice while not actually caring.

Maybe I’m the odd one out in these feelings, but I’ve experienced this so much lately, especially in the wellness and spiritual space. In areas where people are so about love, support and authenticity, yet cannot be honest in their intentions. I am so perplexed by this. I don’t want to lump everyone into one group either because there are some truly amazing interactions I have had.

But the few bad apples I have encountered are so contrary to what this space is about. I and so many other give from such a genuine space in my soul through their engagement and you their care is palpable. But I have also met people who are simply fake, they are engaging for the business, for the money, likes, recognition, but not to create allies, to build people up and to bring the love to the world.

Y23
Lovely Photo by Amber

Just be Honest

Would a phrase to the effect of “that doesn’t align with me right now” or that is not where my priorities are for my business” Or even “no thanks, but let me know if I can do anything else to support you.” That is totally easy and not mean. And frankly, if some nobody rejecting you hurts your feelings, we can work on that.

Basically, I feel like we shouldn’t say things like oh ya I loved hanging out, or your right we should do it again. Unless you actually want to. Intention. Authenticity. You don’t align don’t pretend to or lead the other person on.

That also puts me in a totes awkward place when I got to follow up about hanging out or working with you and you start spitting these avoidance mechanisms. I am admittedly socially awkward and so it takes a hot second to pick up on what you are doing when you could just be direct and stand in your truth. It’s no hate on my part, I just think it is silly to expend unnecessary energy on both our parts.

Does anyone else have experiences like these?