We have to have them. We can’t all be like Arlo and ignore any concept of personal space or disciple. We have boundaries in our relationships, with ourselves, our jobs, money, our bodies, pets, literally anything that can take our attention.
Until very recently, I didn’t have consciously set boundaries. I reacted on a case by case basis. It was draining and chaotic. Some things always bothered me more than others, but it was really based on how I was feeling. Who I was interacting with and where I was.
But things have changed. My yoga practice and reiki have shown me that I need to ground myself and care for myself. And sometimes that means space, distance from those in my life and myself. It is not in a mean or negative way just out of self-preservation really. But I’ve noticed that these boundaries have allowed me to show up for myself so I can more effectively create spaces for others.
The hardest boundaries I deal with are with myself. We are our own worst enemies. For example, I love existential philosophy (yay! Jean-Paul Satre!) But, with my anxiety and sense of being unsettled existential crises are not things I need to deal with since that is basically my existence when my anxiety is up. So I don’t let myself go down those rabbit holes.
Same goes for when I feel like I need to start exercising or get in shape. I don’t follow fitspo accounts because I know I will never look like that. I am skinny but I also like ice cream. Like a lot. So I will never have defined muscles. And its cool, but there’s no point in making myself feel bad and have unrealistic expectations.
I’m doing pretty ok keeping others in line and it’s a constant battle for my self but its so necessary. It also gets easier as people start to understand what you are doing. Just communicate what you need. If they love you they will get it.