Great! I’ll be honest, I hate it. It so goes against my genuine and probably sometimes naïve and socially awkward ways. I am sick of the excuses and ghosting as an out. If you don’t feel aligned or just don’t actually care, you need not feel obligated to come out or engage, it will not hurt my feelings. Believe it or not, this kind of honesty and deep authenticity elicits more respect and understanding from most than you may know. We get so caught up in needing to be thought of as nice, but maybe being nice is just being honest with yourself and those you interact with.
Changing the Dialogue
Why don’t we set a new standard? One that actually perpetuates authenticity, rather than the appearance of being nice while not actually caring.
Maybe I’m the odd one out in these feelings, but I’ve experienced this so much lately, especially in the wellness and spiritual space. In areas where people are so about love, support and authenticity, yet cannot be honest in their intentions. I am so perplexed by this. I don’t want to lump everyone into one group either because there are some truly amazing interactions I have had.
But the few bad apples I have encountered are so contrary to what this space is about. I and so many other give from such a genuine space in my soul through their engagement and you their care is palpable. But I have also met people who are simply fake, they are engaging for the business, for the money, likes, recognition, but not to create allies, to build people up and to bring the love to the world.
Just be Honest
Would a phrase to the effect of “that doesn’t align with me right now” or that is not where my priorities are for my business” Or even “no thanks, but let me know if I can do anything else to support you.” That is totally easy and not mean. And frankly, if some nobody rejecting you hurts your feelings, we can work on that.
Basically, I feel like we shouldn’t say things like oh ya I loved hanging out, or your right we should do it again. Unless you actually want to. Intention. Authenticity. You don’t align don’t pretend to or lead the other person on.
That also puts me in a totes awkward place when I got to follow up about hanging out or working with you and you start spitting these avoidance mechanisms. I am admittedly socially awkward and so it takes a hot second to pick up on what you are doing when you could just be direct and stand in your truth. It’s no hate on my part, I just think it is silly to expend unnecessary energy on both our parts.
Does anyone else have experiences like these?