I am super lucky and totally have so much gratitude in that I do not have a lack of support on my spiritual journey. Most people in my life are supportive of my spiritual journey and want me to succeed. At the very least, they love me as their nutty friend who does yoga and energy work.
The one person that didn’t support me though is a doozy. He’s always distanced himself and never really seemed to care about what I was doing. Even when I was very excited to share something new I learned or wanted to try a new technique. He never shared with me how he felt about my spiritual path.
It took a comment he made in passing for me to piece together how he felt.
It distressed me when I made this realization. So I opened a can of worms (I think some people call them conversations?) to gain some clarity.
They say ignorance is bliss?
I got my clarity and then some, but I was also left hurt, feeling even more unsupported, but at least I understood why it didn’t feel like he had my back.
His conclusion was: well I think it is dumb and am not interested in it so why would I try to talk to you about it or take an active interest. Essentially, not telling me not to do it should be enough support. Ummm what?
So what do you do with people you are close to that do not support your journey? This can be a difficult and painful experience. I will admit that I am still navigating my own feelings around my own experience. But I am sharing what I have learned thus far in the hopes that it will help you approach your own experience.
Are you happy?
When you boil it all down, are you happy? If not, what do you need to change about your interactions and relationships to be happy?
It may be beneficial to take a step back and observe with the interest of preserving your relationship. If you are happy and this is a one off in the relationship and they otherwise support and love you, maybe your happiness from other means is worth more. I wouldn’t say lack of support for one thing is a be all end all. Unless it is to you.
If this is just one more thing you are bummed about. Then maybe it is worth taking a critical look to see if this instance is a symptom of a greater issue. This obviously may not work as well with a parent or spouse, but does for friends or significant others.
Where does this need for validation stem from? Do you feel this person’s words or negativity or lack of support is delaying your evolution? What would happen if you practice non-attachment and let this person’s bad vibes go and you could live to your fullest spiritual evolution? Is your pain stemming from your own brokenness or theirs? Ultimately, like everyone else, does it fucking matter what they think? I’m gonna venture a guess as to probably not. Be you and shine bright.
Try to have a conversation.
Encourage open dialogue about their concerns and be willing to answer any of their questions. Offer up pragmatic answers or stories about your own experience if prompted. Tell them how you have arrived at your beliefs. Or about the comfort you experience as a result of your beliefs. Your goal here is to not convert their way of thinking, but essentially to trigger their empathy so that they can understand where you are coming from.
Ask: How does this person fit into my life?
This is a hard question to ask, but was the first thing that came to my mind when I found out how he felt. I was SO hurt by the lack of support and the subsequent sheer inability to understand why I was hurt by this. It led me to ask myself, why am I putting so much stock in the support and opinions of this person?
Sometimes our hopes and expectations create job expectations and roles for our S.O. that we don’t even realize we created until it is not being fulfilled.
Example: he’s my boyfriend and by virtue is supposed to support me in the things I love. I have intrinsically made support one of the roles a boyfriend is to play. So then, 1. Am I just being a brat or 2. Am I genuinely hurt by their words/ actions?
If it is genuine pain, talk to them about why your feelings are hurt by their lack of support. How they respond could dictate your next move.
Consider the role they play in your life. Is their subtle negativity holding you back from your highest evolution?
Talking about feelings and explaining why you are hurt, especially as an empath, can be hard, but try to express yourself and most people who care about you should take interest and hear you out.
I am sorry you are experiencing this and I hope it resolves in the best way for you.
Have you had to handle something like this? What got you through?